Many of you have pointed out to me that my hubby seems to be a reluctant partner in this Total Money Makeover of ours. To which I could not agree more. And it's certainly not as if that's something he and I haven't discussed. But its been a difficult topic for him. He feels like he works and works and works and yet has nothing to show for it (there's some truth to that right now). And generally speaking, since he lets me decide how to spend most of the money even though he makes most of the money, I try not to be too hard on him.
I did get annoyed enough the other night to bring it up again though. I was trying to have just a strategic, non-emotional discussion about what we should prioritize first once we finish paying off the last* credit card next month (*please ignore the fridge for now. I need that to be separate so I can be done, or I will implode.) But it once again turned in to a whine fest.
I managed to mostly keep my cool and said that while this certainly is hard, and there certainly is reason to whine about it occasionally, that shouldn't have to be the case every time money is discussed. That it made me feel like I was making him do this even though he has agreed many times that he feels it is what's best for us as well. That in order to feel like partners in it, I needed to just be able to talk strategy with him sometimes so that we could figure out how to best prioritize things together. I didn't say it all quite that nicely, but I did my best.
He didn't take it all that well at the time (it had been a long day and perhaps was not the best time to bring it up in retrospect). But later that night he did seem to come around some. And since then he has actually been much better. He even offered to put off getting the new laptop he so wants until the fridge payoff is done. We talked about how we might generate a report for him to look over after each paycheck so that he has a better understanding of how the numbers are moving (we're nerds like that). I told him that I was actually frustrated about it all the time too, and that if I didn't have my spreadsheet to look over and fiddle with almost daily I would probably be a wreck. Simple tasks like changing box shading from yellow to green to show it's completed do wonders for keeping me sane.
So, hopefully that was the talk that will finally change things. And we are so, so close. One more paycheck (don't talk to me about the fridge yet). It's really hard to not fixate on it. To a level of being unhealthy probably, but it's just been soooo long and part of me just can't believe that we're really about to frickin' do this. I keep checking and re-checking because it seems surreal. As if any moment a large, unforeseen expense will rise up and swallow us whole. But so far, the spreadsheet says we're on track. It says we're okay. Just one more paycheck...
A Talk with Hubby
May 27th, 2013 at 04:15 am
May 27th, 2013 at 12:52 pm 1369659124
Good luck!
May 27th, 2013 at 02:08 pm 1369663713
May 27th, 2013 at 03:08 pm 1369667287
I don't want to upset you but now that this segment is nearing completion, and after DH gets his new laptop, what is the plan going forward? When will you be ready to toss about ideas on SL and mortgage? Please relax it's not a good idea to fiddle with the spreadsheets daily or fret about green and yellow boxes. Just give yourself a well deserved big pat-on-the-back.
May 28th, 2013 at 12:25 am 1369700756
May 28th, 2013 at 12:56 am 1369702616