(Another old one...)

This is the very first month of our Total Money Makeover. The very first time I have created a zero dollar budget, and I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised to find out how much wiggle room we have right now, even on the tighter months for my home business. There have certainly been times in my earlier life when there just wasn't enough, period, regardless of how well you spent it. And so to be where I am now, I am very grateful. It also makes me a little disgusted with myself. Laying it all out on paper makes it pretty hard to deny that this is something we could have been making headway on for a while now. We've been pretty good for two years or so about not digging ourselves in any deeper. But we haven't made any real progress on filling the hole. That gaping $327,000 hole I mentioned previously.

When I calculate it all out, even allowing for about $400 of discretionary "fun money", this month we have about $680 extra we could throw towards debt. And actually, given that we used to try to keep a $1000 buffer in our main checking account, we probably have another $700 I could throw towards it if we can handle living more dangerously. This year we even managed to scrape together an emergency fund from our tax return that has lasted us for most of the year. It originally had about $4000 in it, though we are now down to about $1160, with quite a few months to go before refilling. Dave Ramsey says that for "gazelle intensity" we only "need" $1000 though, so that's another $160 I could throw in. And this is in addition to the minimum payment total of about $486/month we make to our credit cards and car loan debts anyways.

I should be elated here. Despite feeling like there is never enough, Dave Ramsey and our zero dollar budget have revealed to us that we actually have about $2025 available this month to throw at our $26,000 credit card/car loan debt problem. We could be down to less than $24,000 in our first month! And I do know just where I will mail it (figuratively speaking with online banking that is) when it comes time. But I feel something much closer to trepidation than elation. What happens when I mail in this check, and a week later our refrigerator dies (not unlikely) or our car breaks down? Okay yes, we would still have a $1000 emergency fund and that would probably cover it. But what if something happens the next month again before we have a chance to replenish it?

I'll tell you exactly what happens, because its happened before. Last Oct./Nov with a flooding issue to be exact. And what happened was that all the hard work of the previous month's extra payments towards credit cards were erased when we had to dig them out again to cover the $1000 insurance deductible, non-covered repairs and appliance replacements. It was incredibly disheartening and it really brought our efforts to a halt for a few months while our bruised egos recovered. I was elated though, when we actually managed to put away quite a bit more than usual the following spring for the next year's "emergencies". And although our emergency fund has now depleted down to barely more than $1000, it has come in handy many a time. Both for car/house issues, as well as the times our budget got away from us a bit due to unplanned circumstances, or yes, an occasional bout of frivolity.

My point is not that we always spent our emergency fund completely wisely. My point is that it was always there when we needed it, and it buffered us from a lot of the financial ups and downs previous years have brought, especially with part of our income being from my self-employment. My point is that is was a major source of financial peace to me this past year. I understand that part of the point of keeping only $1000 on hand is to light a fire under your ass so that you take care of your debt as soon as possible. But I have seen plenty of other years in my life when having only $1000 (or far less) in savings simply got us into more debt, not less. Life is not going to hold up a giant umbrella for us while we work through this. How do I trust that it is safe to write this check?

I will attempt to answer my own question, though I welcome any suggestions from anyone else who might happen upon this as well. I think what is most different about it this time is that out zero dollar budget has shown that, at least for now, even during tight months with my business, our income is still more than our non-discretionary expenses. It may seem like there is never enough money, but there is. We just overspend sometimes when things are good and then have to catch up, so it doesn't feel that way. To help curb this bad habit of ours, we have opened a second checking account that we are using for discretionary expenses and transferring only as much money into it as we allotted to ourselves. Ultimately, we alone are in charge of whether or not we use our money only in the way we have assigned it. We will have to be honest with ourselves about whether or not the activation fees for our new iPhone contracts are going to make it hard to buy diapers when we need them. We are going to have to adjust to a lot less fun money. But the numbers don't lie. The money is there. We just need to spend it correctly.